I must have heard this officious piece of advise a thousand of times as I embarked on my journey to become a writer and "make it" in Hollywood. But what does it really mean to have a thick skin?
Every creative artist experiences rejection. For writers, the rejection we get can be exceptionally brutal. If we're putting ourselves out there and doing the work the rejection we receive amounts to piles of letters from editors, agents and publishers stating right there on black and white how inept we are. At least that's one way of looking at it.
Another, perhaps healthier way to look at rejection is to consider that feedback of any kind is an opportunity to become a better writer. In a recent interview I was asked how I dealt with bad reviews of my film, Watercolors. In truth, those bad reviews were just an opportunity for me to fine tune what may have not worked with some audience members. The truth is that the great majority of audience members and critics did like my film but the few bloggers and smaller publications that trashed it still had good things to offer me as a writer/director. I had a lot of useful information and although I can't use it for a rewrite for Watercolors, I'll have in the back of my head for the next project.
Perhaps the greatest trick is not to take it personally. Some people will make suggestions that you'll find pathetically amateurish - consider the source. Other times you'll get a solid nugget of gold (even if it's in the form of a harsh statement) that perhaps underscores a weakness in your writing. Don't be so hurt by the harshness that you miss the gold. Remember that critics get paid to write interesting copy and sometimes that means slamming someone. In all likelihood, if you adjust based on some intelligent feedback your rewrite will be better than your initial idea. We all have weaknesses in our writing - in our psyches - in our hearts. They make us unique. They make us human.
One of my favorite pieces of memoir is a book called "The Great Failure" by Natalie Goldberg
. Goldberg is a Zen monk, a painter and a wonderful writer. She's been a huge inspiration to me in my journey. I hope she'll do the same for you. In her book she describes many experiences where putting her own ego aside allowed her to become a better writer. In the end, nothing is a failure -- it's all a learning experience.Having a thick skin doesn't mean being impenetrable, invincible or arrogant. Thick skin means letting the nonsense that doesn't apply slide right off. And, they'll be lots of it. Know your own self worth and understand the process that works for you. Hopefully, part of your process will include knowing how to work with rejection and criticism.
This week's suggested website: Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America - (www.sfwa.org) The SFFWA, or SFWA for short-short, is one of the most effective and widely-recognized of all non-profit writers' organizations. Members have access to all manner of resources and publications and can benefit from the protection offered by the SFWA.
This week's writing prompt: Give yourself five uninterrupted minutes of quiet time. Consider some of your favorite publications and what it took for those contributing writers to sell their piece. Harper's
, The New Yorker
, Esquire
, etc. all work with the top writers. Now, in a positive spirit, give this writer your criticism. Look for ways in which the story missed its mark or could have been more effective in your opinion. Be ready for when roles are reversed and its your story in Esquire that people are criticizing.
